Jesus says in John 4:23-24, "But the hour is coming, and now is, when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth, for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. God is a spirit and they that worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth."



Rising Above My Misery


For 10 years I keep having this same dream over and over again – the dream began the same each time

I felt a need for some night air. As I walk out our front door, I notice that I am wearing a long white flowing gown, which gentle waves in the evening breeze. I soon find myself standing beneath a tall tree, which is planted just a few feet from the door. As I stand, there enjoying the night air, I begin to hear music. At first I was confused because the music was not coming from some neighbors house, or mine, it seem to be coming from all around me. All of a sudden I realized what I was hearing were angels singing.

This music was so inspiring that I could not help but feel over joyed, and as David did, I began to dance with Joy, lifting His Holy name in praise. When I awoke I felt a sense of peace.

When the dreams started I was living in a world of chronic pain. Battling a chronic illness, that seemed to be a mystery to medical science.  An illness that had been a part of my life since I was a child, and had grown progressively worse as an adult. Or more to the point and illness that was forever being diagnosed as being a figment of my imagination. Born out of my need for constant attention I was not getting at home.

Turning to the church for an answer, my desperation pulled me into a religious conception, which caused me nothing but pain. I simple came to believe, like so many other Christians that once I was prayer over, then I most claim my healing. In my world, I had to keep my illness to myself. I was not allowed to say that I was ill in any shape or form.

Then the dream came again.  I was dancing beneath the tree praising the lord, and without even realizing it at first I felt my body rising upward, until I was dancing a few feet above the ground. When I awoke I felt a sense of peace. I ask the Lord what this dream meant, but I got no answer.

As my illness continued to plague my body, to the point that I could barely walk up the church steps into the sanctuary. Or sit through a service without feeling like crying. My desperation took me down another path seeking healing. I came to believe that my illness was demonic in nature. As a result, I began to seek out deliverance, from the demon I was certain had invaded my body. Despite the fact that every one of the deliverance minister that I sought out could find no evidence of demon possession. I still continued to look for someone that could deliver me from my illness.

Then the dream came again.  I was dancing beneath the tree praising the lord, and without even realizing it at first I felt my body rising upward, until I was dancing a few yards above the ground. When I awoke I felt a sense of peace. I ask the Lord what this dream meant, but I got no answer.

Then I found myself in the hospital, when my blood pressure drop so low I had no strength to get off the bathroom floor.  Forced by my own bodies refusal to be healed, despite my lack of confession. I went through 9 months of test, with only a one clue as to the cause coming forth. The evidence showed that my stomach was taking up to 17 hours to digest a single meal. But still, medical science could not put a name on the reason. And once more I was lost in world of pain with no answers.

Then I was in a car accident. And I soon found myself battling chronic pain that would spread up my legs and soon affected my arms and neck. Of course there was no name for my pain.

Then the dream came again.  I was dancing beneath the tree praising the lord, and without even realizing it at first I felt my body rising upward, until I was dancing a few feet above the tree. When I awoke I felt a sense of peace. I ask the Lord what this dream meant, but I got no answer.

During my struggle, with trying to find the answer with in the church. I found myself dealing with the reality of other people’s conception concerning illness. I lost count of the number of churches I was forced to leave, once the truth of my illness came into the light of day. I lost count of how many times I found myself spiritually abused accused falsely of some atrocity.  Like being a cauldron stirring witch who was praying curse on the elders of the church, or being a Jezebel out to destroy the leadership of the church, or even being a .

You would have thought after all I had been through with in the church, I would have left the church would behind me. And after 40 years of being an active part of the church system, I walk away. But I did not walk away from my relationship with the Lord. But I had become so trodden down by my physical illness and the lack of compassion as well as the condemnation I experienced with in the church. That I locked myself up with in my home and began to pray for death!

Then dream came again.  I was dancing beneath the tree praising the lord, and without even realizing it at first I felt my body rising upward, until I was dancing so high that I was above the clouds and could feel my very being touching the gates of Heaven itself. When I awoke I felt a sense of peace. I ask the Lord what this dream meant, and this time I got an answer.  “You will rise above your illness and pain!”

At first I did not understand what He meant. But over the last 15 years since I left the church world behind me, the understanding came, as I have learn that there are things that I can do to make myself feel better.  More to the point, as I have let the Lord leading guide me; I am no longer in bondage to my illness.  More important I do not live in a world of fear of the unknown. Nor am I dragged down into dark pits of depression and heart aches, because I can’t let go of past wrongs done to me.

I was finally diagnosed with Lupus- which resulted in my developing crohns disease and Gastroparesis. I also have Fibromyalgia. I can say that I do battle a chronic illness that will not go away, but praise the Lord His grace is sufficient.

His words have come to pass. I have risen above my illness. I   “Rise above my illness” every morning when I get stiffly out of bed and head for the kitchen for my morning shake.   I   “Rise above my illness”, as I set and teach my grandchildren.  I   “Rise above my illness”  

 Every time that I reach out and touch another person’s life, planting seeds of HOPE. I   “Rise above my illness”   every time I praise His name.

The victory is mine, when the battle is the Lord.

(Note -A little note about the tree.. When I started having the dream this tree did not exits, today it stand tall just were I saw it in my dreams. In fact, we did not even live on the propriety we have called home for over 20 years. A reminder to me of God promise)

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